connectingwithcounsel

upgrade?

2010-07-02T18:07:00.003+08:00

okok...i just had to...get a new handphone. My current model wasn't chic enough..i felt jealous that others were more engrossed in their iPhone's or that they could laugh and giggle with their piece of metal in their hand. I had to make more of my life....iPhone sounds tantalising...all those apps and the things we could do....but i know this techno phobic counselor that I am wouldn't use the equipment to its best. I would be the laughing stock on the MRT or on the bus....such a trendy phone but a lost user....lost loser? I couldn't take the humiliation....too much for my heart...sooooooo

i just upgraded...simple upgrade...but I feel i belong again...Why? becos it's a new toy...a new experience...

isn't life funny....????????

T-shirts

2010-07-01T11:04:00.003+08:00

Do you wear t-shirts? Cool aren't they? Do people comment on your t-shirt designs, or what your t shirt says? Quite often we wear t shirts to say something out loud, to express ourselves subtedly. Have you heard the expression, "wear your heart on your sleeve?" Imagine if your t- shirt could speak from your heart-what would it say? What is more important-your intention or your actions? Wearing what is on your sleeve might seem clever but it doesn't necessarily speak sincerely...what we say has to match with what we do...the talk and walk metaphor

Wear integrity....wear respect.......wear tolerance......wear love.....and walk the talk!

Space is SACRED

2009-09-15T13:55:00.003+08:00

an open space....it's sacred these days. I was past the park the other day and i noticed this interesting incident- a group of graffiti sidewalk designers were getting edgy with another group of footballers who had their gear stacked up against a wall that they wanted to decorate. I decided to watch what would happen; the graffitti guys were just hanging around, but you could tell they were getting agitated by their impatience. The footballers just were oblivious with what was happening, and were entrenched in their game. I think what was running through the mind of the graffiti guys was, "if we move their stuff, they wouldn't notice, right?" Space is sacred these days. We defend what we take rightfully as ours....as the world gets more crowded, we get paranoid that we wouldn't have any space for ourselves.

Space doesn't necessarily need to define us-we should define the space we're in!

selah

Face the book or be twittered!

2009-07-13T16:46:00.003+08:00

Have you got an account on Twitter? Have you opened up your soul on Facebook? Everybody's into twitter and facebooking(it's even become part of our language) When I read Animal Farm in my teens, I was terrified about 'Big Brother' following me....developing an Orwellian type of society was terrifying....but come to think of it, computers were cumbersome and not so readily available then; internet was military classified. How things have changed! here we live in a virtual world where connections of the fibre optics kind is essential.....Question I ask is......where is the heart in all of this? It is fun to have facebook and fun but laborious to be followed on twitter, but where does it really lead us to? Invasion of privacy or information overload? Where are the boundaries? Wait a minute....are there any boundaries any more? Technology is great to have in terms of efficiency and speed and time, but where is the heart in all of this...?

It is easy to blame the media, but we make our own choices when we have the options given to us. We choose to invite people into facebook; we choose to decide on what is twittered. Strange how the tables are now subtly turned around so that we need to exercise control....or not....

Maybe that is where the heart is.....it's in the conscience of our decisions....

SELAH

MJ

2009-07-02T02:10:00.003+08:00

Signature moves; a lifestyle documented by the paparazzi; a need for companionship and acceptance;a need for normalcy-that was the life of MJ, the King of Pop. The press is going to enjoy what happens now....I wonder if Martin Bashir will revisit Neverneverland...but he might not be allowed in....I remember MJ as a talented Afro-American teen, in his album "Off the Wall"...I heard Billy Jean and I knew we had a winner on our hands...then I heard Man in the Mirror....that song would be the song of today's generation...a generation looking for their true self but clouded in this fog of materialism and consumerism...it was a song that asked the question...Who is the real me? A song every counselor ought to put into his iPOD.

Who was the real MJ? A frightened little boy, put on the stage at an early age by his father and with his brothers made history...but MJ had a dream...he pursued it with reckless abandon...he developed his own style, his own moves...he became an icon.

MJ we will miss ur individuality....your uniqueness....YOU

Life

2009-06-20T01:34:00.003+08:00

You decided
You chose
I inhaled
Life
This heart
Your blood
Life
This mouth
these words
Life
These hands
These feet
Your path
Eternity
Life

44

2009-06-19T02:18:00.003+08:00

44 years of age....that's how old i am on the 20th of June...old, young, matured...how best to see it? Age.....it's a sensitive topic, a well worn conversation piece and a trajectile that can be used as a double edged sword. Why women cant reveal their age (when physical manifestations show otherwise), why children at a certain age are considered cute and cuddly, why grand pa and grand ma in their tottering years feel discarded and left on the shelf, we really haven't been able to understand. One thing we know, the numbers increase-maybe that is the best way to view age? As the numbers grow bigger, it depicts the value of our lives....our values as individuals increase, our sense of worth becomes more appreciated.

Age to me is really a marker. A marker, not a tombstone, not a millstone. A marker. Birthdays are brief pitstops under these markers, giving us an opportunity to reflect and see how far we have come, how much we have grown and in a humble attitude, acknowledge how much more time has been graciously given to us to discover more about ourselves and those around us-how we can improve the quality of our life and the lives of those around us...

SELAH

2009-05-25T16:01:00.003+08:00

Pat Riley, a well known name in the basketball fraternity, having rubbed shoulders with the LA Lakers, the Miami Heat as a coach and later became a sought after motivational speaker once said that

Excellence is the gradual result of always striving to do better

I love what he said about excellence; the fact that he views it as a gradual result of striving. That word, 'gradual' can get some people off their seat in protest. "We don't have space or time to be gradual anymore!" is what I can hear them shouting from the rooftops. Think about it: we live in a instant mechanised society, where instant demand has to be corelated to instant supply or we just lag behind. Yet, Pat Riley, an experienced coach can expound on the need to be gradual and bring his teams from nought to well-sought, shouldn't we sit up and take notice of what gradual means?

Mind you, there isn't anything wrong with excellence. We all want to be good at what we do. That's being responsible with the time and talents we possess. Yet, there is a need to understand the path to excellence-its a gradual path upwards, learning from mistakes, learning to overcome challenges, before reaching the top. I liken it to be enjoying the journey and focussing on that journey rather than being obsessed with the destination. We'll get there some day, but we need to focus on the journey, the gradual progression towards excellence.

How are you 'striving' ? Keep at it even if your not on top...yet. Remember, it's gradual.

SELAH

2009-04-28T18:22:00.002+08:00

As a counselor I see many young men and women walk into my office and share a piece of their heart with me in total confidentiality. When I first started, I found it stressful to maintain this responsibility, but as I gained experience, it sort of grew on me. I always tell my clients that their secrets will always go to the grave with me. We live in a world where the lure of secrecy is tantalising; what is hidden seems enticing and fodder for gossip and speculation. The obvious isn't really 'news' anymore; it's the deepest darkest secrets that make us celebrities. It's the same in the world of entertainment, where shows that allude to secret pasts, or secrets hidden that can do most damage prove to be ratings winners. Yet, in a world where private space has become more public, we need to also reinstate the notion that private spaces should be sacred spaces as well. Secrecy doesn't mean we are selfish or snobbish; it could very well mean that we are respectful of a person's private sacred space. Let us learn to respect each other's space-not to violate that trust and make other people's lives our entertainment at their expense. if we want to live harmoniously in this world, this concept is fundamental.

SELAH

2009-04-18T19:53:00.003+08:00

When was the last the time you took a chance on change? Since President Obama was elected, that has been the buzz in America...the need to embrace change. It was definitely his ticket to winning the Presidential elections, but the idea of change is what will get us further in our lives as well. But not everyone embraces change wholeheartedly....some see change as a risk move that exposes them;some see change as a window of fresh opportunities. Some may argue the old adage, 'if it ain't broke why fix it?' perspective. Yet change is worth embracing....if we continue with the adage, 'if it ain't broke why fix it?' point of view, we would still be using wooden frames for wheels, kerosene to keep our refrigerators working, oil to keep our lamps burning! But change allows us to explore new territories, to be vunerable yet open to doing better than what was done before....

I know change might make us feel uncomfortable, but its worth examining....like President Obama advocates.....lets embrace it....

By the way, it's spring!

SELAH

My show is better than any TV show....

2009-04-07T01:25:00.004+08:00

I was watching TV and I realised that Reality TV has descended below the 5th grade....defintely the biggest loser in my books....and to kill the imagery.....i'm not lost survivor when it comes to Reality TV....especially this latest one, "MY DAD IS BETTER THAN YOUR DAD!!" show.

It's a show that really lacks substance; in today's world of teenagers, where many teens don't even have a father to compare with others, this shows lacks research. To me, it's just eating up television hours and feeding a competitive spirit. Nothing wrong about competition, but not dad vs dad on prime time! What's next...."my mum cooks better than your mum?" or the Singapore version, "my maid cleans better than your maid!" When will it stop?

In reality, there is a real 'show' going on in the 'real' world....where one teen is pitched against another....one culture is pitched against another, one religion is pitched against another...and so it goes on...

Is it healthy? NO. Is it beneficial? NO. Is it going to make the world a better place? NO.

When will we stop?

SELAH

2009-04-02T14:47:00.003+08:00

As you know i am a counselor who counsels teens; i just did a radio interview with a local news radio station and was asked this question, "should parents themselves be involved in the counseling process?" by the interviewer. I thought it was an excellent question to ask but nonetheless a disturbing question to ponder as well. When a parent is involved in a counseling scenario, is the parent:

a) eager to stand side-by-side with the child and understand the journey they are taking?

b) quick to set up diversion signs and get the child 'on the right path'?

c) get as much information about the child and use it as ammunition in future confrontations?

I really hope parents would choose choice (a). We need to have more parents who want to understand the cultural, emotional and psychological landscape their children have been planted in. I'm not advocating that parents be experts; indeed no one is an expert. We need parents who make time to understand their children....understand and know their child. Time.....now that's where the difficulty arises. Making time for their children....

May I suggest a few simple steps you can take to 'make time' for your child?

cook his/her favourite meal and have it ready som that both of you can have time together

get him/her to book a ticket to a good movie of their choice, watch and be curious

play computer games together....dad and mum can be 'kwel' (cool) too!

Get involved in their homework...not to check but to encourage them along

praise them, affirm them, praise them!

SELAH

2009-03-15T15:58:00.003+08:00

Imagine....half a day without your cell phone....too much? How about 45 minutes without your cell phone? Barely able to make it? It's amazing how we cling to our gizmos for dear life, so that we stay connected....in a non-confrontaional way, in a less emotional way. We can't do without our cell phone, but we can put off taking that important step to say 'hello' to someone next door, or down the street, or even in the cubicle next to you in your office. I heard of a story where the boss of this large MNC communicated his notes and activities for the day and week to his secretary via email.....nothing unusual about that except he was not even a 3 minute walk away from her desk in the same room!

The art of communicating has become faceless, emotionless and purely functional. We need to restore communication to its former glory; when we could connect deep not necessarily wide. We need to connect from the heart to the heart again...rely less on the medium and concentrate more on the message and its impact for all

Email me and let me know what you think ok?

SELAH

2009-02-15T19:09:00.002+08:00

There is this fascinating movie called 'Doubt' that is currently been shown in our local cinemas. I was drawn to the movie because of three things: the fabulous Ms Meryl Streep(she brings the midas touch to any movie she stars in), the topic of abuse, especially in a religious setting and the title itself.

It's a fascinating movie, that centers on a very pressing question: can mankind be trusted, especially in positions of power and authority?

It's a question many are asking, be it in religious circles or political arenas. Whom can we trust? Betrayal, deceit, scandals are common topics we read about in the newspapers of the world, or watch unfolding on television screens in our living rooms. Self-preservation amidst the need to remain relevant, significant drives people to do dangerous things.

Can we be trusted? Can you be trusted?

It is a diffcult question to answer. Trust evolves from building a firm relationship. if there isn't trust, then that relationship doesn't exist. Are we loners in a race, or are we members of the relay team, with the responsibility of handing the baton to the next firmly etched in our minds, and carried firmly in our hands?

I can learn to trust you, but you must learn to also trust me.

SELAH?

operation optimism

2009-02-05T20:09:00.003+08:00

I just went for an operation....in all my life, I've never been professionally cut open by a surgeon...i guess there is always a first! That was 2 weeks ago; and it was certainly an unforgettable experience, for good things. I mean, a hundred and one things could have gone wrong as they cut through to do corrective surgery...but I was looking forward to recovery and coming out alive. We can focus on all the possible permutations when it comes to problems, but i choose to be more optimistically inclined..i look at all the positive outcomes and begin to visualise them in my mind. I got through this operation because i

chose to stay optimistic and focus on the inherrent good
had a suportive family and network of friends who i knew i could count on
had a belief system, knowing that God was taking care of me throughout it all
had competent doctors who knew what they were doing

SELAH

sTeP FoRWarD

2009-01-01T15:37:00.003+08:00

NEW year.....

Happy New year everyone who reads my blog....thanks for peeking in and reading my thoughts and views...means alot to me...

NEW year....

to many it's down with the old calander hanging on the wall, collecting the dust for a year, and up with a new set of dates and months to look forward too...

Look forward too? For some, (and it's growing to be a larger crowd of people), there isn't anything to look forward too...yesterday's headlines still are today's news...but think about it this way, YESTERDAY has progressed on to TODAY...

that's a step forward...

New Year's Day always reminds me of stepping FORWA RD....anticipating change, anticipating hope, anticipating new beginnings...

So here's to a NEW step FORWARD!

SELAH

Small STEPS to success

2008-12-27T19:50:00.003+08:00

You have heard of the expression, "a leap of faith" before. It alludes to taking a risk when you don't know what is ahead of you; sounds like 2008 is ending on such a metaphor. The economic gloom, the social unrest, the political uncertainity is very much requiring many to take leaps of various kinds. Some take leaps of occlusion to disappear, some take leaps of abandonment, to disregard what they are facing. Some take leaps of disillusionment, to mask their present state. Leaps can be dangerous; we miss, we fall, but then again that is why its called a leap of FAITH. I suggest we take a small step instead, cautious as it may seem, it is a confidence building step that I am suggesting. small steps, like a baby learning to stwalk for the first time, or a patient after a hip operation or major surgery. Small steps aren't done alone; there is support, people around us to hold on to us as we take those initial steps. Nothing embarassing-you never know, your step could be an inspiration for another person to take their own first step....

But it all requires FAITH. A belief that you can do it, that it isn't impossible...

GO ON!

SELAH

GLOBAL vision

2008-12-08T16:31:00.003+08:00

When I woke up this morning, it was drizzling, it looked dreary. It is a holiday in Singapore and such weather is a great excuse to stay in bed, curl up with a good book, or watch TV or DVDs that have been begging you to watch them! As I hesistantly crawled out of bed, I looked at the weather report on this really cool global satellite called Global TV that shows you weather in different parts of the world, real time. Here I was, in near the equator, and it was drizzling outside and there in other parts of the world it was picture perfect weather.

It set me thinking...

We can get so consumed by the environment around us, because we don't strive to look for bigger pictures. We don't need better spectacles, or more highly powered lenses to see it-it's there! Here I was constricted in my vision, but I forgot that the sun still shines somewhere else. It's just passing weather; soon, I'll get to see the sun as well...that's a big picture perspective...we need to see it where darkness looms-soon light will shine again! It may not happen as soon as we want, but we need to look forward to it, we need to work towards it, to pray until it happens. We need to anticipate it....now!

So go get global vision today!

SELAH

wHAT IS tHE poINT?

2008-12-01T20:44:00.002+08:00

Mumbai- carnage, mayhem, terror, outrage.
Thailand-factions, split loyalties, frustrations, action.
North Korea-disillusionment, barbaric, elusive, manupilative
Europe-dark ages, despair, hopelessness, anger
America-panic, hurt, sorrow, divided
YOU- lost, disillusioned, disheartened, pain, panic
ME- reflecting your point of view-but what is the point?
WE NEED A RAINBOW,
WE NEED A SPRIG OF OLIVE,
WE NEED A SAVIOR,
WE NEED HOPE
WE NEED IT NOW

SELAH

Change for the .......?

2008-11-24T18:53:00.003+08:00

Is he the new prophet....or the new messianic figure to come riding on a white horse into the White House? Seems to be....Barack Obama is the latest name craze all across the USA and even on distant shores. I'm not going to be political here, but I am going to be candid about his philosophy. It's a philosophy that has become a mantra of hope..the hope is in the operative 'YOU CAN' and the hope rest in that powerful word, 'CHANGE'. It's a word that excites some and causes others to tremble. We are seeing both sides of it even now as I type...the winds of political change breezing in to a chilly storm of economic change that is causing fear and panic among many middle class citizens worldwide.

CHANGE- its a dangerous two edged sword.

We need to understand that change is inevitable- we will evolve emotionally, psychologically, academically but what really counts is in what direction that change is taking us. In Obama's case, change comes from a different angle of approach. Where do we put the emphasis on? Who do we prioritise? Who benefits most from this change?

That is the rhetoric that I enjoy- looking at the benefits and working to change direction to achieve that. Change in the positive, change as a verb of optimism.

Yet change can maim. It can hurt, especially when we don't have grounded VALUES attached to it. That's the essence of change...it's built on values...

So here's the formulae:

the values you ascribe to will determine the direction you take and result in the outcome we call CHANGE.

Live each day....

2008-09-11T20:59:00.004+08:00

Have you ever sat in a diner or on a window sill and gaze at the many faces that pass by? We may be drawn to interesting sights, traffic, unusual sights-but faces? Why would we want to look at faces? Because faces reflect the real story of the land. Each face is a reflection of a journey each passerby is enduring.

On my recent trip to Myanmar, I looked at the faces from my hotel room window and they were content. I saw faces of patience. I saw lines and expressions of resilence etched in their expressions.

Content? Patient? Resilent? After all that has happened in that country? it was a lesson for me- and a lesson for all who run our race with greed motivating us. In this simple land, despite the obstacles faced, people have learnt to live one day at a time. They make the most of each day, as the gods have blessed them with. Isn't that a glorious lesson for us to be with inspired with? Live each day with contentment, because we have been blessed; live each day with patience because the day has only just begun and there is more to come; live each day with resilence, because yesterday was successful and we made it through another day.

Live each day......

SELAH

2008-08-25T20:13:00.002+08:00

I was peasantly surprised to hear a childhood jingle,

the more we get together,together,together/the more we get together/the happier we'll be/for my friends are your friends/and your friends are my friends/the more we get together/the happier we'll be

being used as a McDonald's advertisemnt to promote the fastfood chain as the food sponsors for the Olympics 2008. it's a jingle of my childhood, but its a jingle that is so relevant not just to the spirit of the Games, but to the essence of life. it was refreshing because it brought me back to the need for a childlike coexistence, as when we were little children and didn't think twice about mixing with people of different creeds, color or status, so long as they wanted to play with us. What has happened to that innocence?

It has been eroded away with prejudice, by self-centeredness, fueling hatred and judgement and condoning condemnation and bigotry. Think about it, is that the legacy we want to leave to the next generation? I pray not. What we want to teach them is acceptance of each other, of forgiveness, of universal love. So next time you hear the jingle, don't just think of a Big Mac; think of the blessings of friends and how important they are to us, and we to them.

SELAH

SMILE!

2008-07-30T23:57:00.003+08:00

Is it that hard to stretch the corner of one's mouth?

Is it too time consuming to consider being vulnerable and letting one's guard down for a brief moment?

Is it too unrealistic to even consider being nice?

When we smile, we create a paradigm shift in thinking. A smile is an invitation, an invitation to connect, to communicate, to be human. In a world of self-centeredness, a smile is warmth in a cold care less environment. We should learn to smile more...who else best to learn from but a baby? Watch how a baby draws mum into baby's world..they can't articulate how they feel, but they can smile! That's their weapon-a smile... and hearts are softened, bonds are made and community is formed.

We have alot to learn from our babies. it's a pity that in adulthood, we add criticism, sarcasm, cynicism to the smile. We pollute it and destroy its simple and innocent purpose.

Let's put on a smile again. Smile at your neighbour, smile at your colleagues in work and for goodness sake, smile at yourself in the mirror and say, "I am special!"

Go on....SMILE!

SELAH

ZEN

2008-05-03T13:54:00.002+08:00

We all anticipate a 'zen' moment in our lives; a moment of bliss, when the harsh reality of our world is superceded by a quiet realisation that there are pockets seclusion that we can run and hide in, away from the maddening crowd. We love weekends when we can escape to just be ourselves, don't have any responsibilities and just be free. Don't you feel like that most times?

I know I do! We need to create such pockets; even when it seems to difficult to accomplish we must try to slot in a 5 minute 'zen' moment in our lives. It's like a slotting ourselves into a recharger and getting filled up with a shot of energy to face the day ahead.

Waht can be your 'zen' moments?

a walk in the park near your home

playing with your pet for 5 minutes

listening to music on your iPOD

just getting up and having a nice glass of your favorite beverage

There are so many ways of just being revivied.

Try it today....

Zen on......

SELAH

2008-03-22T18:57:00.002+08:00

What is it about Easter that draws thousands to enact the steps that Jesus of Nazareth 2000 after he down the way of the Cross in Jerusalem up to Golgotha? You see people weeping along the way, some people so overwhelmed that they tremble and shake, feeling the pain, feeling the anguish, feeling the hurt. When I think of Easter, from a spiritual perspective, it is a carthatic experience, because it shows a God who chooses to sacrifice himself for people who condemned him. Yet, the walk, along the Via Delorosa is very much the essence of an experience. Many Christians look at the destination, where Jesus of Nazareth was heading; undoubtedly it was important but for me what is also important is the journey, the process to the cross. it is a reminder for me that to reach a point of completion, it is important to learn the lessons along the way. I shouldn't be consumed with finding a solution but learn from the experiences along the way. As a counselor, it is important to take note of the client's experiences and not be so quick to find a solution to the problem. In taking a step back and listening to the client, the clients are given room to express themselves and share their experiences.

Life is all about the sum of the experiences along the journey undertaken. Let us begin take the experiences of others as well as our own to heart

SELAH

think about it

2008-02-28T01:49:00.002+08:00

No pain no gain

No guts no glory

No rainbow without the rain

No forgiveness without saying sorry

Calamities that never change

Faith of the old old Story

SELAH

PERFECT baLANce

2008-02-16T01:08:00.003+08:00

These days, I'm hearing alot of people mention the words 'juggle' and 'balance' in a single sentence. It's normally accompanied with a sigh or a pursing of the lips, a sign of the hurried existence we face today. When you think about it, the two words just don't sit together. How do you maintain a balance in life with so many expectations to juggle, so many roles to fulfil, so many results to achieve? Or do they?
The two words bring me back to the circus arena, where as children (and even as adults), we would stand in awe of those jugglers who managed to walk a tightrope, keep their balance and yet juggle with ease. How could they do it?

Practice makes perfect. They kept at it, day after day, during their spare time, they honed their abilities. They knew that without the practice, no success.It was a focused objective, something we need to apply in today's demanding lifestyle where multi-tasking is the norm.
Do we need to be perfect? Yet we aren't looking for perfection per say; that is what our mind perceives we should achieve. Therefore, in the quest to strive for a perfect juggle, we may lose perspective and focus and hence lose our balance.

Life isn't about perfection...it's about making the most of our limitations count!

What we need to really reflect upon is whether we have a balanced perspective on the life we lead today-or are we too ambitious and want to juggle too many things in such a short space of time?

Take time to look at what your juggling today-and don't forget to see how far the drop would be if you try too hard to please too many people and lose balance of your life..

SELAH

Getting to know yourself

2008-01-01T18:06:00.000+08:00

How well do you know yourself?

When we read the tabloids or dive into the morning paper, we're really interested in what goes within the minds of terrorists, murderers and on the other side of the coin, scholars, movie stars, acclaimed politicians...but

.......how well do you know yourself?

How well do you know you about the way you react to situations?

How well do you know the habits you have adopted, consciously and unconsciously?

It's fun and exciting to see others being exposed, but

......how well do you know yourself?

When we get in touch with real person within us, it creates a transparency a sense of genuineness that is attractive because it is rare.

The new year could be a time to get to know the real you. It's a wonderful journey of self-discovery, far outweighing what the tabloids could write.

Let 2008 be your year of getting to know yourself.

happy and joyful

2007-11-12T01:38:00.000+08:00

"Happy? Joyful? Is it normal to be so these days? We are on a spiral downwards aren't we?

The world isn't as happy as it should be, isn't it? " Have you had these thoughts swirling in your head? I think lots of people feel this way because the circumstances around them dictate how they must feel.

But should it be so? I don't think so. Yes, circumstances may appear bleak and unavoidable, but we can certainly not choose to be guided by what we see or feel.

Happiness is a choice; it comes from within. Who we associate with, what choices we make in life determine our degree of happiness. Sure, we won't be happy all the time. But happiness is something we can certainly experience most of the time.

make it your conscious thought today...to be happy, inspite of.....

SELAH

Responding WITH Understanding

2007-10-22T17:53:00.000+08:00

RESPONSE? OPINIONS? REBUTTALS? DEFENSE?

Society today seems to be on the guarded side of communication....we want answers to probing questions and we want answers in details, instantaneously. We are not contented with 'ifs' and 'maybes' but definite concrete viewpoints and details. It stems from a lack of trust, a trust that answers can be found, a lack of patience, to step back and think through before proceeding. In the light of this, we become hurried beings, seeking revenge with technology, looking for payback as soon as we can.

Isn't that sad? We don't sit to discuss, because we are so focussed on getting to the bottom of a situation. We don't want to relate because that makes us vunerable and weak. It's truly become not a civilised race but a race for survival of the fittest barbarian.

UNDERSTANDING? ACCEPTANCE? FORGIVENESS?

Can we learn to do these things again?

SELAH

HiDiNG UnDeR THe BLaNKET

2007-09-30T00:11:00.000+08:00

Remember when you were young and you were afraid? You probably ran to mum's room and slided in her bed because you were so afraid; or you probably hid under the covers with your raggedy doll as your only defender against the impending foe. Do you remember? You felt so comfortable and secure with all these elements of security surrounding you-mum, blanket and raggedy doll.

When we look at the world today, we find it quite daunting to find a place to crawl into or find security in a secure figure, because the world has become so suspicious and malicious. The person we assume we could trust could be the very person who can betray us, to hurt us. That is why some turn to the bottle or synthetic drugs or tangible green notes called dollars with little sense for comfort and security. Some people knowingly turn to those to who manipulate them, caught in the helpless cycle of deceit and betrayal.

We need to reverse the situation we face.
First we need to speak out and demand safety and security.
It is our fundamental right.
Then we need to find platforms to reach and bridge the differences we face.
Look for common grounds, not differing peaks and heights.
We need to be honest with each other and establish trust across lattitudes and longitudes.
We all deserve a space on this earth; no one can be the judge and juror of our fate.
Our lives are only determined by the One who made us.

SELAH

Facing Fear with FEAR

2007-09-13T00:33:00.000+08:00

FEAR.
That's a word that sends us scurrying into dark alleys, shivering with apprehension and wondering how we might actually free ourselves from its evil ensnarement. It's not just a word to many-it's a real threat that they face on a daily basis, where fear has already taken on the cloak of its darker cousin, paranoia. The threat of diseases that arrive at our doorsteps in ways we cannot fathom; the threat of anger resulting in violence and the killing of innocent lives. How do we deal with this? We can't be subliminal about it? We can't simply allow the word to float away. How do we deal with it?
FEAR.
F ace it. We know it stares us in the face. We know it rears its ugly head ever so often. Yet, we won't back down. We face it, because its there.
E mbrace hope. We have the antidote in hope. It's there, but we need to endure and perservere. Like the rainbow, it's only visible after the storm.
A rrest fear before it arrest us. Don't let it grip you and control you. You have a choice-exercise it now!
R each out for support. You don't have to face it alone. There are people who will come alongside you and be your cheer team, your embrace team. Don't push them away.

Face Fear with FEAR.

SELAH

SilencE

2007-08-31T00:53:00.000+08:00

How do you respond to silence? Some people find silence deafening; some people find silence awkward; some people find silence refreshing.

It can be deafening when we keep silent and allow our inner thoughts to flood our minds. Some of these thoughts might be suppressed emotions or viewpoints that we had placed in storage. Silence allows them a 'voice'.

Some people like silence because it gives them space, space to think, to contemplate, to draw some conclusions in a very noisy world.

We should learn to treasure our silences- and if we don't have such moments, learn to put them into place in our lives. Journaling, listening to nature can be so therapeutic to our well being.

Yet we can't always be silent; we need engagement because that's the way we were wired. Yet silences equip us for such engagements.

The good and the wise lead quiet lives.
Euripides (c. 485 - 406 BC)

So let's enjoy the silences, let's integrate the silences ino our lives. Don't be afraid of silence.

SELAH

COnTACTS and SPECTacles

2007-08-14T00:40:00.000+08:00

I've been debating over the proposition on whether I should switch to contacts or remain with these old specs I have worn since I was 7 years old. Some people say contacts are better, specs are old fashioned; some say specs are safer and contacts attract infections. Some say do away with both- lasik is in!

Well to be honest, i like my world seen through my current spectacles. I wake up every morning anticipating the world to be as i had pictured it the day before. Contacts may change that comfortable feeling i have. Lasik, may be a whole new world!

Life is like that isn't? We get so used to a certain way of looking at things that we forget about other means of vision. Sometimes a change in apparatus is akin to finding a new perspective in looking at a situation that has existed for a while.

Sometimes we need to get that change into operation for results to show, for results to be found. But comfort has this uncanny way of giving us false security. What we assume is best isnt always the best.

Time to take a new leap forward...but wear your eyes!

SELAH

OpTiMiSm

2007-08-02T01:32:00.000+08:00

Can we really be THAT optimistic? I mean, the world's gone crazy, crime rate is on the rise, abuse is second nature, weather patterns have gone beserk, diseases have taken on humans with a vengence. Can we really believe that the 'sun will come out tomorrow'?

It is hard trying, but that is the operative word- trying. We don't try anymore. We speculate, we assume and we just expect gloom and doom.

I think what is lacking is what I call an 'ant mentality'. I was looking at this trail of ants and I was intrigued at how determined the colony was in ensuring that the colony thrives. Here we are giants in the their land, and there they are with an optimistic streak in them. Some would say it isn't optimism, it is the law of the jungle; but isn't that banking on having an edge by making the most of every opportunity to survive?

Surroundings change but our tenacity to survive should remain strong and determined. It's taking the small steps that even account for the slightest degree of change as an optimistic prick to our desire to move ahead, even if it is a centimetre since we moved last.

SELAH

Rain RAIN.....don't GO AWAY

2007-07-24T02:38:00.000+08:00

it's 2.30 am....yes AM! ......and its raining! how i love the sound of rain....the smell of rain too.....it permeates the air with freshness, it represents a cleansing, a renewal, a softening of grounds that have been baked by the sun. Yes i may be getting carried away with my metaphors, but i'm not saying that the sun isn't important; it is....it gives life and it provides light. Yet, we need the rain as much as we need the sun. Both are essential to growth and development.

In life we need sunshine days where everything appears rosy and happy, but we also need rain, inspite of it sogging our shoes and depressing our days! The sun and rain work together, in a beautiful balance that man could never orchestrate....but can definitely contaminate. We wouldn't appreciate the good days if we didn't have the soggy rainy days would we? We would get complacent and take life for granted.

So next time it rains, smile and say 'thank you'.

Next time you have a heat wave, think of what the rain would do to change all that....and smile!

SELAH

LUck or yuCK?

2007-07-14T02:18:00.000+08:00

Friday the 13th....it may scare you, it may tickle you to scare some body you know. What's with this ominous date? In the first place is it really as bad as people say it is?

Well, to be honest, nothing happened to me on Friday the 13th; I didn't have any major catastrophe, or negative event happen to me.

I think I know why: because I didn't perceive the date as a threat. Every day in actual fact is a threat- we would never know what could hit us, metaphorically and literally. Yet if we live our day with purpose, with dignity, with focus and we apply an optimistic stance, chances are you're day would be rewarding- because you want to see it as such.

However, if we live our day suspiciously, cautiously then we limit the potential of living that day to the fullest. I know what you're thinking....how can we be positive and optimistic with what is so bleak around us?

We can't change the scenario around us, but we can change the scenario inside our mind.

Give it a try, not just on Friday the 13th!

SELAH

PaTTerns

2007-07-05T20:38:00.000+08:00

Human beings are funny people....we hate routines, but routines give us a semblance of order. Without these routines, we find it hard to accomplish much in a day, let alone an hour. Yet, when we venture outside this comfort zone, when we change the pattern, we lose a sense of security, a sense of familiarity.

There is nothing wrong with patterns; it's good to have a routine, but we need to ask pertinent questions:

Are these patterns enhancing us or deliberating us?

Are these patterns in line with what we believe about ourselves or what others say about us?

Are these patterns just for show or for real?

It is good to give yourself a check up and find where you stand. A break in the pattern of life may seem disruptive, but it can actually help us unearth a need to reconsider a need to reasses what we take for granted.

So next time life throws you a curve, don't curse or swear, but look at how it can teach you a valuable lesson that opportunities abound to those who seek.

SELAH

the difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is what you make of it

AnDreW- a care letter

2007-06-29T00:31:00.000+08:00

Dear Andrew

Sometimes I feel this week has been a haze; one minute you were laughing and joking with me, the next, you are lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to a life support system with tubes running everywhere. How can this be? You are strong, resilient, yet now you lie in the critical care unit of the hospital. We wait with bated breath....will you be alright? All we have is a wing and a prayer....and each other. Yes, each other and God. Yes, God. We don't understand why this happened, but we want to move on to help you endure the rest of your earthly journey. You are precious, you are dear. That's why there is so much support. You are special, so special that God has his angels surrounding you, attending to you, keeping watch over you. You are His workmanship Andrew, don't forget that.... and we aren't going to forget you either. We love you and support you.

You are a dear friend....

Your Friend

SELAH

if you are a friend of Andrew Tham, an ex-student from St. Hilda's Secondary School and are reading this and would like to comment, may i invite you to do so. Your prayers for his recovery would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

10 MiNuTeS tO BiRtH

2007-06-19T23:48:00.000+08:00

As I'm writing this, I am counting down......when it strikes 12 mn, it would be my birthday. Birthdays.
Aren't they just numbers that increase annually? Aren't they the no of embarassing candles put on a cake that you need to blow out, but wait! make a wish first!
Numbers.
As the numbers of years increase, so do the lines of stress, the sag of the skin becomes more pronounced, the creak in the bones become louder...but wait! you're maturing!
Maturing.
Isn't that just another polite way to say "You're older"? You may become cynical, skeptical and at the same time forgetful why you do the things you do...but wait! you're still alive!
Alive.
Spirit is willing, but the flesh isn't weak, it's comatose! I'm breathing, I'm walking, I'm feeling, I'm thinking....but wait! it's a miracle!
Miracle.
Yes, life is a miracle....and a miracle is about to be born....

Guess what?

We are all miracles!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIRACLE! CONTINUE TO BE A GIFT TO THIS WORLD!!

SELAH

eMoTiOnAl

2007-06-14T14:46:00.001+08:00

E everyone has emotions
M everyone needs to learn how to manage them
O others need to know how we would respond
T so take time to reflect first
I start with the 'I'
O then move to others in your immediate vicinity
N never negate their feelings
A acknowledge that we need a community perspective
L live a big picture perspective

SELAH

the PRESSURE of doing NOTHING

2007-05-27T01:44:00.000+08:00

It's a strange world isn't it? When we have a bundle of things to do, we can't wait to take a moment's respite to just catch our breath and be contemplative for a few minutes. Yet, when we it gets too contemplative and still, we can't take the boredom and itch for something to do. Doing nothing is considered unproductive, a waste of time, a waste of money. Every nanosecond of a minute has to be occupied because of that big word that looms ahead of each of us-USEFULNESS.
Yet, I know of many learned and respected people who took time and spent it in contemplation. They weren't the worse off for it; on the contrary, they lived a longer and more fulfilled life. Maybe we hurry because we don't want to think of the crossroads we would need to face, or the dilemmas we would need to encounter....so hurry and let's bury all that- ESCAPISM
We need to sit down, reflect and regroup. The three Rs of life:

REST
REFLECT
REGROUP
RECUPERATE

We need to do the first three before we can get to stage four. Don't be in a hurry to get from one to four in a flash. Don't be sucked into the pressure of doing something when nothing is perfectly suitable.

SELAH

SIC*K

2007-05-23T02:11:00.000+08:00

Bugs....not the creepy crawly ones, but the ones that get into your system and wreck havoc with your insides and your head. How we detest the bugs! There are so many strains of them.... your 'garden variety' , your 'exotic' and your down right 'rare' strains. These days, its challenging for medical personnel to decipher and understand the different strains that keep multiplying and mutating at speeds we can't detect. MBBS isn't enough...MDs don't mean a thing....if we can't get a swing on how to stop them. But can we? We can't stop people from getting sick; isolation doesn't help...eradication doesn't seem to be plausible.

We have to learn to manage it.

Being 'sick' emotionally is similar. We were made to be relational. We can't change our inherent DNA directives. We can learn how to be relational as well as how not to. The 'bugs' of the mind are harder to treat, but the 'bugs' of the heart can be dealt with with tender loving concern....notice i didn't use care in that cliche because care isn't seen as a good word these days. Care is seen as manupilative. Sad isn't it? The value of care is priceless and healing and understanding begins at its doorstep.

Step right up and please, leave your masks at the door!

SELAH

FEncES

2007-05-19T00:53:00.000+08:00

I was watching a rerun of an old TV series whilst nursing a bad cough and cold in bed. It was called Picket Fences and it was created by one of my favorite producers, David E Kelley. What I like about Picket Fences is how the situation in one household becomes the fodder of conversation in the community, and how that in turn affects the situation in that same household. Well, there have been many spin offs of such 'dramedies' most prominently of course being Desperate Housewives.
Fences are erected to keep villians away, to keep the flock together. Fences should be respected and not tested. Yet, what happens on the Hollywood set of the shows mirrors what happens in our lives as well. We love to test the boundaries set, be it a young child with his parents, a school student with their teacher, the citizen with the state...it's interesting to see to see it being enacted. Why? Because, it is something inherent within human nature to want to see if we can get more than what we bargained for. We don't like to be boxed in by rules, by dictums by regulations. We love freedom and we expect it. Yet freedom has got its own fences,hasn't it? Remove that, and we have pandemonium, chaos. Would that be what we would want to see?
God forbid!

SELAH

SONflowers

2007-05-13T01:43:00.000+08:00

I know its Mothers Day and many people are taking their mums out for lunch or dinner or just giving them a well needed break. Favorite gifts for mom? Chocolates (dark of course-can't afford the fat!), cards and flowers. How can we not forget the flowers? Flowers brighten up any mom's day, and for that matter any one's day. Roses perhaps? They are expensive so mom knows that she's worth a lot in petals; Petunia's? 'Chrysanthemums'? Daisies? Orchids stay fresh longer in the tropical heat. May I suggest a single stalk of the glorious sunflower. Just one stalk please because:

mom is outstanding
mom brilliantly shines at multi-tasking
mom is constantly moving as long as there is sunshine, just like the sun flower that follows the sun's movement through the course of the day
mom watches over the movement of those whom she loves-her family

Take a break moms....today is your day to be admired, appreciated and loved. Your lingering presence is our greatest gift......

Happy Mother's Day

SELAH

The WEAK, the FAINT & the WORRIED

2007-05-02T17:35:00.000+08:00

This week I learnt of a good man of the cloth whom I had admired had passed away after a long bout of illness. Week after week, he would faithfully serve His God in the church, smiling and reassuring the weak, the faint and the worried.

The weak, the faint and the worried.

Doesn't that sound like you and me? Aren't we weakened by our internal condemnations? Aren't we afraid to be found weak in the eyes of many? Aren't we worried that we won't survive this rat race we are in?

Yet, this nice sweet man of God reassured us that we could, because he had. He became a living proof of how his God had sustained him, how his God had carried him through the rough times, how his God had calmed many a worrisome storm. How we need to find people like that in our lives today, people who can stand alongside us and say, I am here with you, don't fret, it's not over yet!

I miss you Canon Lomax.... thanks for being God's angel while on earth...now rest in His peace

SELAH

UGLY........?

2007-04-27T00:58:00.000+08:00

Desperate Housewives. Prison Break. Ugly Betty. What do they have in common?

They are American dramas
They have become American exports that dominate television viewing globally
They have raked in millions of dollars for the TV networks
They deal with the human journey

But what do these shows mean to you? Many would consider them exciting and stimulating to the senses, a rush of blood to the head or a heart warming glow in the heart. What they have in common is the unearthing of the human experience, of course done Hollywood style. Yet, there is some element of truth in its portrayal. It may be a little overexxagerated, it may be a little melancholic, but it still highlights a prevalent truth-we have skeletons that we cannot ignore in our cupboards. Try as we might to hide them, they surface and they may embarass us, or defile us. Facing up to these skeletons is a challenge, especially in today's society that is so quick to judge. People like to make a spectacle out of other people's misfortunes, not necessarily Hollywood style (but Hollywood is a good teacher). Facing these skeletons is something we should learn to do; it's all part of understanding that the journey we undertake requires hard, honest reflection that shouldn't weigh us down, but liberate us to move further.

Time to switch off the TV set and opened the closets?

SELAH

reNEWal

2007-04-13T20:55:00.000+08:00

The buzz today in corporate circles and political circles is renewal. We need to find the next generation of enterprenuers, the next set of political leaders. It's a timely buzz, and it shouldn't just start and end there. It should permeate into every strata of society, of life. We need renewal in our marriages, in our friendships, in our perceptions about life. Renewals keep us on our toes, helps us assess where we are on the path we have taken. Renewals also help us keep the dreams alive, and not get so bogged down with the details. Indeed, the details feed the dream, but the renewal, the revisiting of these dreams infuse new life, new hope. Hope...that's a word we need so much to not just hear but see as well.

Think of your life right now.

What needs renewal?
Is there an idea that has been left salted on the shelf and needs revisiting?
Is there a relationship that you are enduring rather than enjoying?
Is there a challenge that you are not facing because you lack the confidence?
Is time more of a killer rather than a creative spark?

It's time to think and do renewal!

SELAH

ReCoVeRy

2007-03-30T19:17:00.000+08:00

It sad to see a friend or colleague endure pain or hardship. Sometimes we don't know how to respond to the issue at hand. Should we be sympathetic? Or should we pretend by suppressing the issue and get the person to move on beyond circumstances. On the one hand, it may seem too bothersome to get stuck with emotional baggages-there is however a place for emotions, for grieving, for venting. However, if we allow that to control our outcomes, then we lose control of ourselves. Pretending isn't a good solution; the 'ghosts' have this habit of reappearing, in stronger images and with stronger attachments. We need to learn to manage pain or hardship....ultimately we aim for recovery. We want to learn from this incident, the issues at hand and move to the next level. We need to deal with the emotions as is and then use it as stepping stones, not milstones! Recovery is being there to provide support, not to agree but to be a strong arm, have a caring heart, even if it a moment of unexpected silences.

SELAH

AppREciATioN

2007-03-08T19:12:00.000+08:00

Rewards. We all love to be rewarded don't we? The recognition we get, the applause received, the handshakes all around help instill a sense of value within us. We feel good about ourselves. The Bible does tell us that it is more blessed to give then to receive. It's a powerful principle that we can apply in our lives-and we don't even have to be followers of the faith.
Imagine:

how blessed your child will be when you show appreciation for them as your children?
how blessed your colleagues will be when you say a simple 'thank you' for effort put in?
how blessed your aged parents would be when you hug them to show affirmation that they have done well in bringing you up?

Recently there was this tremendous 'free hugs' campaign that caught on across the globe. Some might say it's a trivial attempt at self-appreciation-but really what the world needs now is appreciation, real appreciation. It shouldn't be for the dramatic. It shouldn't be for the staged. It should be for the person who learns to value another fellow human being.

SELAH

ReNt The FaBRiC

2007-03-03T11:57:00.000+08:00

Just flip open the morning papers or switch on the radio and you will find more than one article or news story on how an employee was badly treated or a possible lawsuit being served for discrimination of some sort. Racial. Age. Gender. Religion. Attitude. ATTITUDE? Yes, that's where it all starts doesn't it? The way we see ourselves and judge others by our standards of 'excellence'. What gives us the right to do that? Our sense of superiority? Our sense of achievement? Our sense of justice? We have to rememeber that this world is everyone's playing field. "we're all players" that's what Shakespeare said. We need to learn to work cohesively, learning to appreciate each other's gifts and strengths. We need to apply ourselves as a whole to this world we live in. We need to all act responsible and not play judge. We need to apprehend all caustic attitudes and actions before they destroy a delicate fabric that is already frayed at the ends.

SELAH

FRoM ThE OuTSiDE

2007-02-16T00:37:00.000+08:00

It's hard being an outsider; not really being involved yet being present. Sometimes people misinterpret your reactions as negative and condensending. Not that you don't want to help or be involved, but you just don' know how to. I know many care givers, counselors, nurses and doctors who can identify with this. I most certainly can because it happens with my dad. He's getting older and frail, he had a bad fall and he just isn't the same. It hurts me to see him hurt. I try to put my counselor spectacles on, but I can't ignore my emotions too. I can't rationalize how I feel all the time. Sometimes, I feel helpless, not knowing how to make his life comfortable. It's not easy making others feel comfortable. You have to hold back your uneasiness or fears and disappointments and not show too much. It's trying, it's frustrating, and sometimes you just want to throw your hands up in despair.

Yet, what keeps me going as a care giver is my belief that the smallest iota of help, goes a long way. Just being with my father can be the best comfort I can give. We must never have unrealistic expectations-that's not being cruel in any way. We must come down to the level of the person in need and ask, "what can I do to make the person's life more comfortable?"

To all care givers, never think that you're not caring enough. Care is such an overused word, where many expect it to come in leaps and bounds. Don't compare care-just give from the bottom of your heart! Your simple smile, your warm hug, your gentle stroke of the hand goes a long way. Well done people!! Keep that care coming......

SELAH

F****

2007-02-07T01:55:00.000+08:00

I was travelling in a taxi recently and the driver, a rather matured driver, had this tendency to end his sentences with the F-word. I'm quite used to hearing it being said these days, especially when expletives like f**** are commonplace and accepted as part of the vernacular. I remember when I was in University, and I was studying modern literature plays in my third year as an undergraduate. My professor was a gentle, sweet lady, who had this twinkle in her eyes when she started to delve into the literary world. We would all sit and listen, spellbounded by how she made characters, plots and situations come alive off the pages of books. As we were ploughing through different genres, it soon happened. Modern literary plays reflect the society they were written about and there it was-the F-word. And we were to say it as we read the play aloud? But professor didn't blink an eyelid when she read the parts of the play, putting emotion into each word, including the F-word. How did she do it? She saw it in its context and read it in its context. She was a professional.
But does that condone the way we pepper our speeches today with expletives? Again, it reflects the society we live in- a society that is stressed, frustrated, challenged and fed-up. We need to change our expletives into something more encouraging, more uplifting.
SELAH

InFLuENCe

2007-02-04T01:54:00.000+08:00

Did you know that teens today are more influenced by celebrities than by anything else? So if Britney wants to get frivolous and start drink binging, that's considered 'cool' (?) Or if Nelly gets promiscous and makes a nice tidy sum on the side from the song, that's 'glamorous'? It's frightening to know that what is seen through the lens of the media or the pages of the tabloid is considered 'bible' material to many teens. We adults need to really do some introspection and ask ourselves these vital questions:

Question 1: Who am I closest too and how have I influenced them?

Question 2: Has my influence been positive or negative?

Question 3: Has my influence caused them mature emotionally, socially?

We are helping shape tomorrows leaders. We need to take our influences seriously.

SELAH

GREET things

2007-01-30T00:26:00.000+08:00

Sawasdi! A clasp of the hands and the warmth of a smile....the greetings you receive in Thailand are well known, but it's something we can learn from. Saluations sometimes seem a waste of time, especially when you know the person and the person knows you. Yet, a saluation given by the Thais or the Indians or any culture is something we need to import into our culture. That's exactly where it starts from-culture. If we have become a culture that values only output, rather than input, we're missing a lot. So, let's learn to GREET!

G = Give unconditionally
When we say "hi!" or "hello!" we shouldn't expect anything back in return. We give because we want to bless the other person, because we want to make the other feel special.

R = Relate fully
Don't just extend the hand, or give a faint smile; give it all you have got! make the person feel the warmth that comes from within in that handshake.

E = Extend hospitality
We can choose to just be salutory, or we can really make our welcome cozy like coming back to our own homes.

E = Engage eye contact
The eyes are the windows of the soul. We need to let the greeted know that they are not just passerbys but important individuals who share this journey with us

T = Touch the heart
Need I say more?

SELAH

FLooDs that DrEnCh

2007-01-19T02:12:00.000+08:00

It is tragic what the people of Malaysia are going through with the rising flood waters, swirling into their homes and businesses, destroying precious artifacts, mementos, important documents and expensive equipment. I can imagine the anguish, the frustration that many of the people of Malaysia are experiencing. How do we deal with situations like this? How do we deal with the flood of stresses we find piling upon us sometimes? We can't say "I know how you feel"-we don't! We're not in their situation, but we can provide action instead of just mere words of comfort or encouragement. What people need in a time of crisis is a ready solace, a safe refuge where they can gather their thoughts and plan the next course of action. We can share essential supplies with them, knowing that some semblance of normality helps them gain a foothold in the soft mud beneath. All this done with a smile, of care of compassion can bring a rainbow amidst the dark clouds of pessimism that enshrouds them.

The 3 S approach- provide a SOLACE, SHARE your time and your space and SMILE with care and compassion will certainly help bring a ray of sunshine on a flood drenched day.

SELAH

HoPe FlOaTs

2007-01-13T00:15:00.000+08:00

Rain, more rain! We never seem to get enough of it in Singapore! Strange people we are.....when there isn't enough of it, we complain-when there is too much of it we continue to complain. Is it our nature to look for points of complaints? I don't think we were programmed to be that way. I believe that when God gave us a brain and the ability to articulate speech, we were given the choice to complain or be thankful. Quite often we choose to complain because:

it is an accepted response
it is a common response
it is a response that allows us to seek the majority and stay within safety

Let us make a switch to thankfulness. Why? because:

it is a response that ushers in a blessing
it is a response that makes people see our boldness to make a stand
it is a response that gets those within the safety of many, thinking

What is your choice?

SELAH

BuZz Words

2007-01-09T14:36:00.000+08:00

New Year is always filled with buzz words.....word that we latch on to, words that set the course for a new year, words that give us a sense of purpose in the new year. Here are some buzz words we should seriously consider not just for the year ahead but the years to come:

TOLERATE- to learn how to accept differences and live amidst diversity.
PATIENCE- in such a hurried society, we need to really learn to slow down
REFLECT- how we need to do introspection rather than inspection of each other's faults
CONTENTMENT- in this age of greed, we need to remember that there are many who are satisfied with simple needs and wants
LOVE- we need to move away from loving images to loving people

SELAH

pRiNCipLes of aCCouNt

2006-12-18T17:54:00.000+08:00

I'm definitely not a mathematically inclined person. I used to really hate math when I was in school, failing in my tests and exams. People kept telling me that math was an important subject, that I couldn't survive or be successful without it. I now know that was to scare me into doing well, but it did the reverse! Well, I still have problems with math, but I have learnt certain principles connected with it.

Math requires you to know the proper steps. Similarly, we need to learn to take the proper steps in the direction we are heading. I used to try solving math from the solution backwards!! I didn't get far for sure!
You need to know your formulae. Life is all about what it takes to make it happen. We need to know the right balances, the right equations to get the answers.
Maths is always about practice. Life is a practice run itself. We try, we fail, we try again. We learn from our mistakes and don't do them again.
Maths is all about persistance. We need to keep trying, and we'll soon get it.

SELAH

The SOUL of the Matter

2006-11-20T17:51:00.000+08:00

I read with interest about the decline in the number of sex tourists visiting the island of Batam in the newspapers. It took a change in the Penal Code to bring about a change in the mindset of the people. A change that had a stiffer penalty-instilling a fear that caused a reaction. Isn't that how modern society operates? We don't see change as relevant, or morals as relevant UNLESS a penalty is imposed. It is sad isn't? When will we realize that values are not dependent on the extent of freedom given? Values are instristic and they form the DNA of our very belief system. We should not wait for a higher authority to exert force before we change. If our value system is morally right, then our conscience would alert us to the value judgement of our actions. As parents and adults, it is our responsibility to teach, to instruct the young in knowing and weighing the value systems adopted. We should be a sounding board; a mirror that reflects.

SELAH

FRuiTS FroM tHe TreE

2006-11-01T14:57:00.000+08:00

I love walking down the supermarket aisle and see the fresh variety of fruits available. In a world of concrete, it's my way of getting in touch with nature! It's amazing at the variety of fruits available. Different shapes, sizes, colors-a real smogasbord. Aren't communities like that? A smogasbord of different personalities and traits.

Unfortunately we may feel dejected when the more popular 'fruits' get picked and we get left on the shelf. Yet we shouldn't. We shouldn't look at popularity as an indication of goodness. We get so caught up with the fruit, that we forget that without the tree providing sustenance, we wouldn't be the fruits that we are! We derive our value from the tree of our origin. The values that are inculcated in us, infused in our lives from what we have learnt from our culture, our parents. We are all uniquely special. We carry that wherever we go and we shouldn't be afraid to allow that to exhibit itself and testify that we came from different trees.

SELAH

SiMpLe

2006-10-25T14:49:00.000+08:00

Simple-does that word sound too complicated for you? In today's world, how do we keep it simple? Well, electronic wizardry has supposedly made life simple-has it? Even relationships have taken on a compilcated perspective. So has our work scope, with multi tasking as a buzz. Does being simple in today's society means aloofness? Naiviety? Being silly? or wisdom?
I think its a beautiful risk to be simple. The key to simplicity is contentment. Living within your means and enjoying it. Don't compare yourself wth your neighbours; don't covet what they have-don't be jealous but be contented with the blessing you have. Simple as it may be, it is a blessing. Be thankful, that you have something when compared to others who have nothing.
SELAH

CrAcKs.....

2006-10-20T15:08:00.000+08:00

Have you seen the movie, World Trade Center? It's a movie that took a lot of risks to do, considering the sentiments surrounding the terrorists attacks on civillians. What intrigued me about the movie was its sensitive portrayal of how everyday people came together across racial and religious lines to help and support each other. Simplifying the story doesn't do justice to the movie so it's best to view it if you haven't already. What is memorable to me about the movie is an episode where two firemen are trapped under rubble andin the midst of the smoke, the dust and debris, a tiny light filters through. Tiny as it might be, it is warm, it is reassuring, it gives hope. Life is like that isn't it? We have disturbing news, events around us; everything seems to be shrouded in gloom......yet all we need to seek is a crack of light....that is all we need for hope to come alive.......
Cracks aren't that bad after all, aren't they?
SELAH

OOOO...BeHaVe!!

2006-09-11T21:27:00.000+08:00

I enjoyed watching the Austin Powers movies. Silly as they were, they were enjoyable to watch because Austin Powers never really behaved as a typical 'secret agent'. He wasn't the suave James Bond, or the macho Tom Cruise in the MI series. He was uncouth, enjoyed sexual puns and innuendos (well Mr Bond was a ladies man as well), a person you would least expect as a spy. Wait a minute! Doesn't that qualify him as the best candidate for the job? He doesn't fit the projected profile; it would be so easy for him to break into different circles and infilitrate and get darkest secrets. Why? Because he is so unconventional. We all have different perception of roles and responsibilities that go with them. Fitting the bill is a dilemma for many. But in the case of Austin Powers, he was someone who got the job done albeit unconventionally. Getting the job done, using our God-given talents and gifts. We should be looking for such people in job searches. Knowledge isn't the only important criteria. Passion for the job, passion to see it accomplished is just as important.
SELAH

SiN ChOw

2006-08-29T20:28:00.000+08:00

Language.....we human beings have such a beautiful opportunity and advantage don't we? We have been given this gift- the ability to articulate a question, the ability to demand justice, the soft tender persuasion to speak peace into a troubled soul. Language.....we are so accustomed to signs, symbols and abbreviations in this hi-tech age that whizzes by that we can easily forget the ability to communicate...with words. Words can sting, or they can bring healing and hope. We must be good stewards of the language skills we have. I was in Vietnam recently and I had the opportunity to show my competency in learning basic phrases like sin chow (hello) or come ern (thank you). It created a bridge that opened up humanity and allowed us to touch. Isn't that what we should aspire to do?
SELAH

WhAT DiD i Do?

2006-08-12T18:34:00.000+08:00

That's the question many people ask me when I see them as a counselor, "What did I do?" Quite often that question isn't a question that explores denial, but highlights misunderstanding. It's a misunderstanding of how they feel leading to inappropriate action. It's not something the client would want to do intentionally, but it's a slip up that leads the client to face the consequences. It's a good question; it allows the client to explore where he/she is at. Yet, it's also a plea to the accuser, or the counselor to allow GRACE to flow. GRACE. That word we seldom hear, or seldom practice in a world where it's increasingly becoming 'retribution orientated'. As a people helper, I can administer grace by allowing some breathing space for the client to find himself/herself. I can apply grace by looking at other options to seek restitution....rather than violence, or hatred or racism.

GRACE.

How we need more of it now!

SELAH

LovE mE

2006-07-23T12:48:00.000+08:00

There she was looking in the mirror; a little petite girl, with long dark hair, a face that had a story of pain and despair etched on it. She was looking at her reflection and she was asking a question we all ask ourselves, "Who's going to love me for being me?" In today's society we have conditions set on love-either be pretty, or be brawny, or be intellectual, or be charming or be.......YOU? When will start accepting others for who they are? When will we look beyond the externals and look at their very being? To that girl looking in the mirror, my response would be, "Hey, I accept you for you.....I don't want you to be anyone else.....be real....be you.....thank you".
SELAH

sPaCe

2006-07-15T19:01:00.000+08:00

Do you know what the biggest contention in today's world is? If you said money....some would agree, but i think not. Peace? Well that's a strong contender...but i think not. Happiness? many would want that..but i think not either? Relationships? it may be true to a certain extent, but i think not...The biggest contention in today's world is SPACE. The room to grow, to develop, to stake a place for identities to grow. We all crave for space- a space to be still, a space for contemplation, a space of refuge. SPACE. Let's try to give each other space. Space for opinion, space for exceptance, space for identity. When we learn to respect each other's space, then we would find peace, happiness and our relationships will prosper. Money wouldn't be our focus, because we would be having so much fun enjoying our humanity and appreciating our differences....
SELAH

I AM A MiRACLe

2006-06-20T12:48:00.000+08:00

I'm a miracle......sometimes I ask myself 'Why?' Why did God make me a miracle?
Answer: Because HE CHOSE to.........

I came out with a cry
Shrivelled
Wet
Naked
Vunerable
I felt fingers curled around me
I felt warmth in those fingers
It was a warmth transferred from the heart
It coursed through my body
I didn't feel shrivelled anymore
I felt full of hope
I was wet
but wet in the river of my mother's tears of joy
Naked i was
but I felt protected in my mother's bosom
Vunerable because I couldn't defend myself
Yet I knew my mother would give her life for mine
Her fingerprints are all over me
and so are Yours
You protect me
You cover me
You hide me
You made me
Thank You
Ian Poulier 2006

SELAH

TwO HoUrS tO Go......

2006-06-19T22:46:00.000+08:00

Birthdays........what do they mean to us? For some it's just another date on a calender.....a dreaded date for some! For others, it's a question of why we were put on this mound of earth.... its a not necessarily a query but sadly a profanity...
I wrote a poem, trying to identify how a mum might feel at the impending moment of delivery. You may not identify with it, but certainly we can't disregard the important people mums are..and will always be.....if you haven't said thanks to your mum......do it soon!

Two hours to go…………..

It’s more than two hours to go
I feel excited and a little worried
It’s natural to feel that way isn’t?
I don’t know if I have been doing what’s right…..
Have I been eating well?
Have I thought of this Miracle inside of me?
Have I been considerate?
I know we want a family, but am I being a responsible mum-to-be?
Is the job sufficient?
Is the cash enough?
Can I manage without help?
Wait a minute……..
I’m going to be a mum!
Me! A mum!
How did I get to this point?
Yes my husband loves me and vice-versa…..
And this Miracle inside of me is our proof………
Proof of............ another Miracle
A Miracle that I was made to carry God’s creation……
I am not just a person who has roles to fulfill
Or person who has to be subjected to sexual innuendos…..
I have been chosen to be a carrier of this Miracle
I am a Miracle too!
If I am a Miracle, then what is there too worry?
The Miracle weaver who wove this miracle in me
Has also equipped me to care,
To nurture,
To love
To be the best mum I can ever be!

Ian Poulier 2006

* dedicated to all the mums as I pondered on how my mum must have felt as she delivered me

SELAH

LooK Up....stAY HUmble

2006-05-27T19:53:00.000+08:00

Did you know that it was sculptor who painted the famed Sistine Chapel? Yes it was Michelangelo, but we don't really notice his painting skills do we? I know of his ability to take a lump of clay and transform it into a detailed sculpture that would be marvelled for eons. A painter? Isn't that for amateurs or novice artisans in the making? Yet the Sistine Chapel almost never became one of the greatest works of art if Michelangelo had stuck to just being a sculptor. He was challenged to paint, and mind you paint a ceiling! Who looks up there?! Yet he took the challenge and we have a masterpiece created. Sometimes we have to get out of our vocation and try something new....sometimes we need to humble ourselves and remember where we came from....and that speaks fluently as well.....
SELAH

A TRiP To oZ

2006-05-08T19:53:00.000+08:00

i had the privilege to watch a production of the Wizard of Oz put up by my school. i was blown away at the collection of talent on the stage! the energy, the determination to see the whole musical become successful was awesome. yet the journey of Oz, is very much the journey of our lives as well; Dorothy meeting a lion without courage, a scarecrow without a brain, a timman without heart. we all need courage, wisdom and heart don't we? in today's world, we may want courage to stand away from the crowd, or heart to stand proud and aloof from the maddening crowd or wisdom to be noticed and adored-it's a very self-absorbed world. Yet Dorothy, found community, found that she was sharpened as much as she sharpened others on the yellow brick road. it's a journey we all need to also take....we need each other, standing together to find courage, wisdom and heart. wouldn't that be a wonderful world?
SELAH

HOPe

2006-04-13T21:59:00.000+08:00

When we think of Easter, we may think of bunnies, eggs and chocolates. Well that may be the trappings of Easter, but the real deal with Easter is that it's actually spelt H-O-P-E. H is for the hunger in us all of us to see the truth being told, O stands for our position as ordinary people; we don't have to be of a certain calibre or type to be granted a chance. P is for the people that we are, not what we have or do, but who we are....that is what counts, and E is for eternity, where our future is in the making, starting today!
Happy Easter y'all!
SELAH

VITaMIN L

2006-03-12T19:49:00.000+08:00

Do we need it? The debate ensues as drug companies urge people to buy their vitamins and those who are strong supporters of natural remedies say don't, because your daily intake of foods is sufficient. One wonders who is right or wrong. Yet in this debate on what vitamins we need, don't forget the soul.....it needs vitamins too! The best vitamin we can give our soul today is the Vitamin L. It's readily available, it's easily digested and cheap to produce. You mean you haven't heard of it yet? Where have you been? Maybe you have been absorbed in a world of controversy, a world of greed, a world of competitiveness that we forget about this all important vitamin. It's called Laughter, and don't we need it now more than ever! C'mon, let's belt out a laugh together.......
SELAH

REturn TO normaLITY

2006-02-21T21:18:00.000+08:00

Normal. Don't you hate that word? Maybe it's a word that is so hard for you to believe these days. Maybe the entire journey from home to office or school and back again isn't anything but normal! You switch on the TV and you see graphic images of abuse; you peek into the sports pages of your local newspaper and you see how sports has become a corrupted with misses and deals of dope addictions and money laundering, of business propositions and nothing about team work, team spirit or the game of fair play. You get into the car or take public transport and see selfishness raise it's ugly head, as we fight for seats, or deny seats to those who deserve it more....Normal? Yet when we lose our humanity and our capacity to care for those around us, we become to what is to the world as being considered normal. Yet we have the power to change this expected normality to become extraordinary citizens of earth. Not to conform...but to transform!

SELAH

2006-02-16T19:43:00.000+08:00

Smile and the world smiles with you!

BUiLDiNG BRiDGES

2006-02-16T19:11:00.000+08:00

"How do we deal with today's generation?"; "They want things only their way!";"Their so demanding!" I hear these words ringing in my ear as a counselor. Parents, educators are the first to be at my door and demand answers to these pressing questions. Firstly, we need to stop segregating them as "today's generation" but be more understanding & inclusive of their differences and nuances. We need to understand their pressures, their demands, their limitations. "Wanting things their way" is probably the loudest perception that has been fed into their veins with the media surrounding them. The world of the adolescent is a wired for sound world, where rationality and understanding have been buzzed out by pressing needs and wants. We need to build bridges, not burn them.........

SELAH

I'M IN love

2006-02-10T21:31:00.000+08:00

I was watching the grammy's.......i was sticking my neck out to see those cool dudes, those divas of song, those rappers with the bling bling (no wonder they need shades) and then i saw her......she was sitting in her assigned seat, a new initiate into this business called music....there were many more professional singers sitting around her, but she stood out. She is Kelly Clarkson. You might be saying, "Oh no! another idol freak!" Not a freak, but an admirer of the someone who said in 2001 that she would love to sing at the grammy's and she did...but she just didn't sing...she won 2 grammy's! I am in love......with persistence, with dreams fulfilled. We need role models like her....if we could stick out our heads like that, we could see rainbows. We could sing at the grammy's.....ok maybe not, but we could win the applause of many for staying the course and seeing dreams materialize....o yah...she's a babe too!
SELAH

The BEAUTY of COMMUNITY

2006-02-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

Chinese communities around the world just celebrated their Lunar New Year. One of the highlights of the celebrations is the night before, when members of the families return to the ancestral home to celebrate as a family. I think it's a powerful metaphor of community; it's a wonderful reminder that inspite of our busy lives, our hurried lives, anxious to make businesses a success, as we become more competitive to stop and return to how it all started. When a husband and his bride chose to spend their lives together, to write a new chapter and start a legacy for future generations to follow. It was a decision that was filled with risks; no one told them how. It was a time to learn about each other, to accept faults and weaknesses and the challenges of turning them into strengths. It was a time of trial and also a time of joy, to see children develop into adults who accept their identities and find their calling in the game of Life....and to see the next generation being raised up. The beauty of community....let's not forget it, even as we strive to be individualistic.....
SELAH

WaG YouR TaiL

2006-01-27T21:51:00.000+08:00

It's the year of the dog....according to the zodiac cycle of the Lunar New Year. I'm not an ardent follower of the zodiac, but it's interesting to see what the characteristics of the animal represents and how people sum each other up accordingly. So if you're born in the dog year, you must be faithful;if you come under the horse sign, then you must be a hard worker. But what about those born under the zodiac sign of the snake and the pig?!! Doesn't say much about these people, doesn't it? Yet these people are probably the sweetest and loveliest people you would have met. It's more important to know the person and not to try and fit the sign to the person.
SELAH

BISCUITS

2006-01-11T21:00:00.000+08:00

Do you like eating biscuits? Many people like Oreos, especially the ones with thick luscious chocolate or vanilla spread thickly in-between.Everything would be complete with a nice ice-cold glass of milk, wouldn't it? I like Marie or Digestives, where you can dunk them in your tea or coffee. Eating biscuits remind me of young days, when mum would be around, the biscuit tin would be out of reach, the milk would be ice-cold....it reminds me of intimacy, of a warm intimate setting of security......imagine that......just the mention of biscuits triggers all sort of things! We need triggers like this in our lives.....positive, wholesome triggers......triggers that warm the heart, triggers that remind us that hope still abounds, that love isn't a lost word or a misused word.

SELAH

FeeLS to Be LoVEd

2005-12-16T22:17:00.000+08:00

what does it feel to be loved?
I observed an interesting interaction with a father and his son. The father was concerned that the son wouldn't make it academically because he had wasted away his time with mindless distractions. The son sat in a corner and the father poured his heart to me. I was observing the son's reaction and it wasn't at all positive. He had that pout, that defensive stance of arms folded across his chest as his dad spoke. Then something happened. The dad turned to his son and said, "Do you know how it feels to be loved? When you react the way you do, I feel hurt!" I could see the dad was moved and I could see a shift in the son's disposition. I believe he had never heard those words from his dad before.
When was the last time you told someone that they feel loved? Sometimes we get so absorbed in our own affairs we have little time to take into account the person next to us.
SELAH

CHaNGE

2005-12-10T21:32:00.000+08:00

Change......it's a puzzling word isn't it? On the one hand, we want to see it take it's rightful place but yet we are so cautious about accepting it wholeheartedly.

Change is POWERFUL. It has the ability to redefine paradigms, to redirect pathways, to realign lives. Yet it can also be used in a negative way. That is when change takes a self-centered approach, where no concern is given for the those affected, except the one instituting the change. That kind of change isn't helpful.

We need not only change that is POWERFUL but change that is POSITIVE. We need a change that betters the life around us, that enables the weak to rise, the humble to see their dreams come true. Let's make this season one of powerful positive change!

SELAH

PoP goes CuLTuRE

2005-12-04T19:07:00.000+08:00

Pop Culture......it denotes what ticks for youths of today......what is hot for music, what cinema shows youth run to watch or what arcade games sell out best with youth. Pop culture gives us a peek into the mind of the young today. Some people think pop culture isn't worth considering...it's just fads and raves; that may be true, but so were bobby socks, Elvis and Sinatra or Banarama or Packman! Pop culture represents what attracts, what enthuses youth and we should use it as bridge to build, not a bridge to burn. It is a bridge into their culture, their world. As much as we want youth to respect the older generation, we need to build bridges into their world and understand them first. When they see the attempt made, the the frustrated frowns will turn into smiles and the clenched fists will extend to a warm grasp of solidarity and friendship.

SELAH

HoW BrOaD ArE YoUr ShOuLdErS?

2005-11-25T21:17:00.000+08:00

I was at a shopping centre and it was packed with kids and their parents-school holidays have descended upon us! It is the Christmas season and shopping centres are trying their level best to pack in the crowds to ring in the profits...it times like these that I enjoy watching the crowd; and indeed you can derive valuable lessons from what you see. Like there was this time when this really cute boy who was desperately trying to get a view of a performance on stage but he couldn't. His father was standing away from him and this little boy ran to his dad and tugged at his dad's shirt...he wanted to see too! His dad smiled and hoisted the little fella up and his face just lit up with excitement.

So did my heart.

How many of us would 'pick up' our colleagues and allow them to enjoy the view we do? We would rather pick on them, dissuade them, ridicule them and leave them alone as we selfishly enjoy the view. We need more people to be hoisters; to offer assistance, a lending hand, an encouraging word. Are you volunteering? YES! I CAN SEE THE VIEW TOO! Thanks!!
SELAH

AttiTUDE of GratiTUDE

2005-11-22T20:38:00.000+08:00

Thanks.......Thank you.......

How often do we really stop and ask ourselves if we have realised the power of these words? In a world of urgency, we seem to be in too much of a hurry to even stop and say thank you.
Here's my thank you list:

Thank you to the foreign workers who tirelessly keep Singapore running smoothly
Thank you to the teachers of our schools for turning dreams into realities
Thank you care workers in our hospitals, our family care centers for providing support
I want to thank our defence and police for ensuring we are secure
I want to thank parents, grandparents for just being there when nobody seemed to care
I want to thank YOU for being just .......YOU!

Maybe you should wake up in the morning and make it a point to thank at least one person. Go on.....make that person's day....make your life count

SELAH

SEX ED 101

2005-11-17T00:12:00.000+08:00

SEX....Yes, that word has power...
Power to drive men to the brink of unfulfilled desire and drink from the barrel of supressedlust
Power to lure virgin women away from rationality to explore these unfulfilled desires
Power to break up families that had developed bonds of trust
Power to cause confusion among the young, rushing them to grow up after a night of delirious passion
Power to corrupt.......
YET
Power to speak in action, not just words
Power to reconcile lives that have been torn apart from mistakes of the past
Power to rebuild and reaffirm the word 'family'
Power to believe in oneself again
It's how we use it....whether we want to be good stewards or if we want to be irresponsible and be self-centerd....it's our choice.....but it also determines the destiny of all

SELAH

What PEOPLE want REALLY

2005-11-03T21:15:00.000+08:00

I was watching with keen interest the two shows on CNA, "What Women Want.... Really" and "What Men Want..... Really" and I switched off the TV and scratched my head and asked this nagging question: "What do People Want......Really?"

Are they looking for the 7 deadly sins? Are they really looking for the cutest bachelors? Or are they just wanting to escape from reality and delve into fantasy?

What do people really want? I believe people are looking for 2 cardinal things in life: SECURITY and ACCEPTANCE. Both points interface to give a person a sense of belonging and hope for the journey ahead. We should have TV shows that promote these two cardinal points. TV is a powerful medium that can either hurt or enhance our lives.
SELAH

iCOns

2005-10-29T20:15:00.000+08:00

If you had the chance to choose an icon, what would you choose for yourself? An icon is a symbol that would best represent who we are. Some famous icons are political icons and religious icons. In marriage, the wedding ring is a powerful icon that symbolises continuity, completeness. What would I choose? Maybe a large ear, because it would reflect what I do on a regular basis....listen as a counselor. Maybe you would differentiate different icons for different segments of your life. Icons are simple yet powerful symbols we can use to remind us, to challenge us, to slow us down. What would you use for yourself?
SELAH

ThRu' ThE LeNs....

2005-10-18T15:33:00.000+08:00

Cameras......im a klutz when it comes to cameras.........I guess the simpler they are the better for me. Yet, cameras are supposed to be 'idiot proof' these days...nice label don't you think? THere are 2 schools of thought....should the camera be made for the consumer or should the camera challenge the ability of the consumer? It's a tough question, but it has to be a balanced perspective. If I can utilize my camera and all its functions, I become a genius and a master of my apparatus. If I choose to not want to learn, and keep saying to myself, "You can't take good pictures", then I would never fully know the value of my apparatus. It's not a camera......its a tool. We are the users of this tool....we need to be responsible and knowledgable in using it.....So next time you see a camera, ask yourself....taking pictures or making masterpieces?
SELAH

ThE BiG PiCtUrE

2005-10-18T00:31:00.000+08:00

I love visiting Australia for many reasons...the food, the people, the scenery...YES! of course the scenery!! Who can forget the 12 Apostles or the beautiful Daintree forest or the majestic Uluru at its gloriest center? Yet, don't you hate those postcard shots of such famous places? They seem so limited in telling the story of granduer that Creation explodes before our eyes...I guess cameras can only capture a limited slice of grandeur.....but remember, its not the cameras but the person who takes the shots that we should address. How about using a wide angle lens? You get a better perspective, you get a sense of size, of position....you do justice to the picture taken. Isn't life like a camera shot? We may be amateurs, not professionals, but we shouldn't hone in on the small slice....let's get the big picture into perspective and enjoy or understand the event in its proper position. It may take a little effort, but its worth the picture......
SELAH

YOU CAN ONLY SEE THE VIEW IF YOU CLIMB

2005-10-05T22:09:00.000+08:00

Have you been to the Equinox at Raffles City? What a view...what an elevator too! Climbing isn't my cup of tea. Those of you who know me would know that I like to test technology and it's claims...especially elevators and escalators! Nonetheless, climbing isn't avoidable. Life is like that isn't it? We want slopes that lead down, because it's easy; but we cannot avoid the steeps that take effort and sweat. We sometimes don't climb because our level of expectation isn't there. We become contended with mediocre or we just don't feel confident that we can climb higher. The view will always be nicer the higher we climb. Point here is this: we need to put into action our thoughts. We need to put effort in what we say. Yet the effort results in a rich reward.....the view! Aim for that......yes?
SELAH

RELIEF YOURSELF

2005-09-29T11:06:00.000+08:00

THe bathroom......some people call it their palce of solace; some people call it their place of refuge and solitude, where they can gather their thoughts. Functionally, its a place of relief! It may sound a little squirmy talking about the bathroom so openly, but its a noted fact-we need quiet places to relieve (sic) ourselves. We need to purge (pun intended) our lives regularly to get rid of the clutter of emotions and thoughts that may prevent us from thinking clearly. How often do you do that? The last thing we need is a constipated mind that isn't productive.......
Time to flush!!
SELAH

Turning Messes into Messages

2005-09-26T18:49:00.000+08:00

How do you feel about messes? Stupid question you may ask? Yet, its a pertinent question. How do we deal with messes? Most of us react to messes. When we encounter a mess, we get emotional, we react and explode. We don't have time to think, because we are thinking of how we are misrepresented, or misinterpreted in the mess. Its a ME-centred approach. That's why its a pertinent question. Society needs to move away from being ME centred to being US centred. When we start taking into consideration those around us and how they may inadvertently be hurt, then we would be more cautious in our processes and its outcomes. That's the message we need to convey. OTHERS DO MATTER, not just YOU!
SELAH

aLiVE adMidsT StOrMs

2005-09-23T14:35:00.000+08:00

We have been hearing alot about weather differences lately. It's seems so difficult to accurately predict the wrath of a hurricane, the damage it can do. We seem to be at the mercy of the forces of Nature. Nature seems to have taken an angry tone. Yet there are lessons we can always learn from these instances:
1. We cannot predict, but we can be prepared. That means we need to be proactive rather than reactive
2. We need to learn to be cooperative rather than stand alone. Now isn't the time for us to be self-centerd; when disasters come, EVERYONE, in some way or another is affected. Helping each other makes the day seem brighter.
3. As always, we learn from our mistakes. We aren't perfect, but we can learn from our mistakes and be better equipped for the future.
SELAH

BloGGers ethics

2005-09-13T16:14:00.000+08:00

Bloggers beware!

It was a subject all bloggers were engrossed in; rascist remarks on the Net. "Why?"; "How dare they?" would be most people's response. Some may argue that its freedom of speech here that's been impinged upon. What's our response? It's important to remember that though the blogger is writing in a private capacity, he is using public space. It's a question of sensitivity and responsibility. Surely you would like to enjoy your picnic in the park, but you are also to keep in mind that its a public space where others can use. In our self-absorbed society, we forget the need to remember the implications involved in our actions. We need to have a big picture perspective...always.
SELAH

superSTAR

2005-09-02T20:28:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last blogged....but here I am.....

The surge of energy created by Channel U's runaway success, Project Superstar has got me wondering about how we view people these days...do labels maketh the man? Sadly, it seems to be the view of many that just because you may not dance or because you are disabled or disadvantaged or handicapped in some way, you won't fit the brand 'superstar'. On the contrary, what makes a superstar is someone who manages to smile and make himself/herself fit into normality of life, in spite of difficulties or circumstances faced. They deserve to be lauded as Superstars...
Thanks Kelvin and you deserve it....shine on for the rest of us to follow
SELAH

STiLL small VOICE

2005-08-12T21:56:00.000+08:00

It's been a while since I last blogged. Did i have withdrawl symptoms? You bet! I don't know how many people actually stop and read what I share, but i felt really irresponsible for not doing my duty of writing this blog....even if it is totally voluntary!

Strange isn't it? This thing we call conscience. We wish for more of people in society to have a conscience of ownership, of responsibility, of justice. Imagine if we all set our consciences to high alert; this world would probably see a decline in vices and an increase in honesty, and integrity. Yet a conscience is only as good as how one uses it. If we choose to compromise and be complacent, it's voice is silenced.....
SELAH

Little Black Book

2005-08-01T22:15:00.000+08:00

Black Books. You know, the ones where darkest secrets are written.....real 'tell-me-all" stories are found? Ones that you keep hidden in the deepest drawer so no one can see? We all have one, physically or metaphorically speaking. Some of us actually keep such a book, others, keep a drawer in our mind all locked up with a huge NO TRESSPASSING sign firmly displayed. Really, what we write in there doesn't quite help...it binds the secret to us...we and the secret become one. When we are so intertwined, the secret can become our reality. that's powerful but dangerous. Be careful what you put in your little black book...its black for a reason... or rather it should be red.....yes?
SELAH

Why BLoG?

2005-07-26T19:04:00.000+08:00

I guess now is a good time as any to pose this question. Bloggers have been in the news lately, with not so good reviews. Blogging is like an online diary, where we pen our thoughts and share ideas. The danger of it being online poses ethical and moral dilemmas for us all. We have to be sensitive in what we say, conduct ourselves in an appropriate manner, so as not to offend anyone. Yet, the realist will argue that we aren't allowed to be ourselves, expressing how we really feel. There is truth in that, but there is also a need for us to remember responsibility needs to be taken seriously too. That's the reason why my blog is generic...it deals with motivation and inspiration through a reflective process from a counseling perspective. If it helps, I'm happy. If it makes you think, I ponder with you. If it changes your perspective positively, I smile.
SELAH

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