FRoM ThE OuTSiDE

It's hard being an outsider; not really being involved yet being present. Sometimes people misinterpret your reactions as negative and condensending. Not that you don't want to help or be involved, but you just don' know how to. I know many care givers, counselors, nurses and doctors who can identify with this. I most certainly can because it happens with my dad. He's getting older and frail, he had a bad fall and he just isn't the same. It hurts me to see him hurt. I try to put my counselor spectacles on, but I can't ignore my emotions too. I can't rationalize how I feel all the time. Sometimes, I feel helpless, not knowing how to make his life comfortable. It's not easy making others feel comfortable. You have to hold back your uneasiness or fears and disappointments and not show too much. It's trying, it's frustrating, and sometimes you just want to throw your hands up in despair.

Yet, what keeps me going as a care giver is my belief that the smallest iota of help, goes a long way. Just being with my father can be the best comfort I can give. We must never have unrealistic expectations-that's not being cruel in any way. We must come down to the level of the person in need and ask, "what can I do to make the person's life more comfortable?"

To all care givers, never think that you're not caring enough. Care is such an overused word, where many expect it to come in leaps and bounds. Don't compare care-just give from the bottom of your heart! Your simple smile, your warm hug, your gentle stroke of the hand goes a long way. Well done people!! Keep that care coming......

SELAH

F****

I was travelling in a taxi recently and the driver, a rather matured driver, had this tendency to end his sentences with the F-word. I'm quite used to hearing it being said these days, especially when expletives like f**** are commonplace and accepted as part of the vernacular. I remember when I was in University, and I was studying modern literature plays in my third year as an undergraduate. My professor was a gentle, sweet lady, who had this twinkle in her eyes when she started to delve into the literary world. We would all sit and listen, spellbounded by how she made characters, plots and situations come alive off the pages of books. As we were ploughing through different genres, it soon happened. Modern literary plays reflect the society they were written about and there it was-the F-word. And we were to say it as we read the play aloud? But professor didn't blink an eyelid when she read the parts of the play, putting emotion into each word, including the F-word. How did she do it? She saw it in its context and read it in its context. She was a professional.
But does that condone the way we pepper our speeches today with expletives? Again, it reflects the society we live in- a society that is stressed, frustrated, challenged and fed-up. We need to change our expletives into something more encouraging, more uplifting.
SELAH

InFLuENCe

Did you know that teens today are more influenced by celebrities than by anything else? So if Britney wants to get frivolous and start drink binging, that's considered 'cool' (?) Or if Nelly gets promiscous and makes a nice tidy sum on the side from the song, that's 'glamorous'? It's frightening to know that what is seen through the lens of the media or the pages of the tabloid is considered 'bible' material to many teens. We adults need to really do some introspection and ask ourselves these vital questions:

Question 1: Who am I closest too and how have I influenced them?

Question 2: Has my influence been positive or negative?

Question 3: Has my influence caused them mature emotionally, socially?

We are helping shape tomorrows leaders. We need to take our influences seriously.

SELAH