It's hard being an outsider; not really being involved yet being present. Sometimes people misinterpret your reactions as negative and condensending. Not that you don't want to help or be involved, but you just don' know how to. I know many care givers, counselors, nurses and doctors who can identify with this. I most certainly can because it happens with my dad. He's getting older and frail, he had a bad fall and he just isn't the same. It hurts me to see him hurt. I try to put my counselor spectacles on, but I can't ignore my emotions too. I can't rationalize how I feel all the time. Sometimes, I feel helpless, not knowing how to make his life comfortable. It's not easy making others feel comfortable. You have to hold back your uneasiness or fears and disappointments and not show too much. It's trying, it's frustrating, and sometimes you just want to throw your hands up in despair.
Yet, what keeps me going as a care giver is my belief that the smallest iota of help, goes a long way. Just being with my father can be the best comfort I can give. We must never have unrealistic expectations-that's not being cruel in any way. We must come down to the level of the person in need and ask, "what can I do to make the person's life more comfortable?"
To all care givers, never think that you're not caring enough. Care is such an overused word, where many expect it to come in leaps and bounds. Don't compare care-just give from the bottom of your heart! Your simple smile, your warm hug, your gentle stroke of the hand goes a long way. Well done people!! Keep that care coming......
SELAH
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