What is it about Easter that draws thousands to enact the steps that Jesus of Nazareth 2000 after he down the way of the Cross in Jerusalem up to Golgotha? You see people weeping along the way, some people so overwhelmed that they tremble and shake, feeling the pain, feeling the anguish, feeling the hurt. When I think of Easter, from a spiritual perspective, it is a carthatic experience, because it shows a God who chooses to sacrifice himself for people who condemned him. Yet, the walk, along the Via Delorosa is very much the essence of an experience. Many Christians look at the destination, where Jesus of Nazareth was heading; undoubtedly it was important but for me what is also important is the journey, the process to the cross. it is a reminder for me that to reach a point of completion, it is important to learn the lessons along the way. I shouldn't be consumed with finding a solution but learn from the experiences along the way. As a counselor, it is important to take note of the client's experiences and not be so quick to find a solution to the problem. In taking a step back and listening to the client, the clients are given room to express themselves and share their experiences.

Life is all about the sum of the experiences along the journey undertaken. Let us begin take the experiences of others as well as our own to heart

SELAH

think about it

No pain no gain

No guts no glory

No rainbow without the rain

No forgiveness without saying sorry

Calamities that never change

Faith of the old old Story

SELAH

PERFECT baLANce

These days, I'm hearing alot of people mention the words 'juggle' and 'balance' in a single sentence. It's normally accompanied with a sigh or a pursing of the lips, a sign of the hurried existence we face today. When you think about it, the two words just don't sit together. How do you maintain a balance in life with so many expectations to juggle, so many roles to fulfil, so many results to achieve? Or do they?
The two words bring me back to the circus arena, where as children (and even as adults), we would stand in awe of those jugglers who managed to walk a tightrope, keep their balance and yet juggle with ease. How could they do it?

• Practice makes perfect. They kept at it, day after day, during their spare time, they honed their abilities. They knew that without the practice, no success.It was a focused objective, something we need to apply in today's demanding lifestyle where multi-tasking is the norm.
• Do we need to be perfect? Yet we aren't looking for perfection per say; that is what our mind perceives we should achieve. Therefore, in the quest to strive for a perfect juggle, we may lose perspective and focus and hence lose our balance.

Life isn't about perfection...it's about making the most of our limitations count!

What we need to really reflect upon is whether we have a balanced perspective on the life we lead today-or are we too ambitious and want to juggle too many things in such a short space of time?

Take time to look at what your juggling today-and don't forget to see how far the drop would be if you try too hard to please too many people and lose balance of your life..

SELAH

Getting to know yourself

How well do you know yourself?

When we read the tabloids or dive into the morning paper, we're really interested in what goes within the minds of terrorists, murderers and on the other side of the coin, scholars, movie stars, acclaimed politicians...but

.......how well do you know yourself?

How well do you know you about the way you react to situations?

How well do you know the habits you have adopted, consciously and unconsciously?

It's fun and exciting to see others being exposed, but

......how well do you know yourself?

When we get in touch with real person within us, it creates a transparency a sense of genuineness that is attractive because it is rare.

The new year could be a time to get to know the real you. It's a wonderful journey of self-discovery, far outweighing what the tabloids could write.

Let 2008 be your year of getting to know yourself.

happy and joyful

"Happy? Joyful? Is it normal to be so these days? We are on a spiral downwards aren't we?

The world isn't as happy as it should be, isn't it? " Have you had these thoughts swirling in your head? I think lots of people feel this way because the circumstances around them dictate how they must feel.

But should it be so? I don't think so. Yes, circumstances may appear bleak and unavoidable, but we can certainly not choose to be guided by what we see or feel.

Happiness is a choice; it comes from within. Who we associate with, what choices we make in life determine our degree of happiness. Sure, we won't be happy all the time. But happiness is something we can certainly experience most of the time.

make it your conscious thought today...to be happy, inspite of.....

SELAH

Responding WITH Understanding

RESPONSE? OPINIONS? REBUTTALS? DEFENSE?

Society today seems to be on the guarded side of communication....we want answers to probing questions and we want answers in details, instantaneously. We are not contented with 'ifs' and 'maybes' but definite concrete viewpoints and details. It stems from a lack of trust, a trust that answers can be found, a lack of patience, to step back and think through before proceeding. In the light of this, we become hurried beings, seeking revenge with technology, looking for payback as soon as we can.

Isn't that sad? We don't sit to discuss, because we are so focussed on getting to the bottom of a situation. We don't want to relate because that makes us vunerable and weak. It's truly become not a civilised race but a race for survival of the fittest barbarian.

UNDERSTANDING? ACCEPTANCE? FORGIVENESS?

Can we learn to do these things again?

SELAH

HiDiNG UnDeR THe BLaNKET

Remember when you were young and you were afraid? You probably ran to mum's room and slided in her bed because you were so afraid; or you probably hid under the covers with your raggedy doll as your only defender against the impending foe. Do you remember? You felt so comfortable and secure with all these elements of security surrounding you-mum, blanket and raggedy doll.

When we look at the world today, we find it quite daunting to find a place to crawl into or find security in a secure figure, because the world has become so suspicious and malicious. The person we assume we could trust could be the very person who can betray us, to hurt us. That is why some turn to the bottle or synthetic drugs or tangible green notes called dollars with little sense for comfort and security. Some people knowingly turn to those to who manipulate them, caught in the helpless cycle of deceit and betrayal.

• We need to reverse the situation we face.
• First we need to speak out and demand safety and security.
• It is our fundamental right.
• Then we need to find platforms to reach and bridge the differences we face.
• Look for common grounds, not differing peaks and heights.
• We need to be honest with each other and establish trust across lattitudes and longitudes.
• We all deserve a space on this earth; no one can be the judge and juror of our fate.
• Our lives are only determined by the One who made us.

SELAH

Facing Fear with FEAR

FEAR.
That's a word that sends us scurrying into dark alleys, shivering with apprehension and wondering how we might actually free ourselves from its evil ensnarement. It's not just a word to many-it's a real threat that they face on a daily basis, where fear has already taken on the cloak of its darker cousin, paranoia. The threat of diseases that arrive at our doorsteps in ways we cannot fathom; the threat of anger resulting in violence and the killing of innocent lives. How do we deal with this? We can't be subliminal about it? We can't simply allow the word to float away. How do we deal with it?
FEAR.
F ace it. We know it stares us in the face. We know it rears its ugly head ever so often. Yet, we won't back down. We face it, because its there.
E mbrace hope. We have the antidote in hope. It's there, but we need to endure and perservere. Like the rainbow, it's only visible after the storm.
A rrest fear before it arrest us. Don't let it grip you and control you. You have a choice-exercise it now!
R each out for support. You don't have to face it alone. There are people who will come alongside you and be your cheer team, your embrace team. Don't push them away.

Face Fear with FEAR.

SELAH

SilencE

How do you respond to silence? Some people find silence deafening; some people find silence awkward; some people find silence refreshing.

It can be deafening when we keep silent and allow our inner thoughts to flood our minds. Some of these thoughts might be suppressed emotions or viewpoints that we had placed in storage. Silence allows them a 'voice'.

Some people like silence because it gives them space, space to think, to contemplate, to draw some conclusions in a very noisy world.

We should learn to treasure our silences- and if we don't have such moments, learn to put them into place in our lives. Journaling, listening to nature can be so therapeutic to our well being.

Yet we can't always be silent; we need engagement because that's the way we were wired. Yet silences equip us for such engagements.

The good and the wise lead quiet lives.
Euripides (c. 485 - 406 BC)

So let's enjoy the silences, let's integrate the silences ino our lives. Don't be afraid of silence.

SELAH

COnTACTS and SPECTacles

I've been debating over the proposition on whether I should switch to contacts or remain with these old specs I have worn since I was 7 years old. Some people say contacts are better, specs are old fashioned; some say specs are safer and contacts attract infections. Some say do away with both- lasik is in!

Well to be honest, i like my world seen through my current spectacles. I wake up every morning anticipating the world to be as i had pictured it the day before. Contacts may change that comfortable feeling i have. Lasik, may be a whole new world!

Life is like that isn't? We get so used to a certain way of looking at things that we forget about other means of vision. Sometimes a change in apparatus is akin to finding a new perspective in looking at a situation that has existed for a while.

Sometimes we need to get that change into operation for results to show, for results to be found. But comfort has this uncanny way of giving us false security. What we assume is best isnt always the best.

Time to take a new leap forward...but wear your eyes!

SELAH

OpTiMiSm

Can we really be THAT optimistic? I mean, the world's gone crazy, crime rate is on the rise, abuse is second nature, weather patterns have gone beserk, diseases have taken on humans with a vengence. Can we really believe that the 'sun will come out tomorrow'?

It is hard trying, but that is the operative word- trying. We don't try anymore. We speculate, we assume and we just expect gloom and doom.

I think what is lacking is what I call an 'ant mentality'. I was looking at this trail of ants and I was intrigued at how determined the colony was in ensuring that the colony thrives. Here we are giants in the their land, and there they are with an optimistic streak in them. Some would say it isn't optimism, it is the law of the jungle; but isn't that banking on having an edge by making the most of every opportunity to survive?

Surroundings change but our tenacity to survive should remain strong and determined. It's taking the small steps that even account for the slightest degree of change as an optimistic prick to our desire to move ahead, even if it is a centimetre since we moved last.

SELAH

Rain RAIN.....don't GO AWAY

it's 2.30 am....yes AM! ......and its raining! how i love the sound of rain....the smell of rain too.....it permeates the air with freshness, it represents a cleansing, a renewal, a softening of grounds that have been baked by the sun. Yes i may be getting carried away with my metaphors, but i'm not saying that the sun isn't important; it is....it gives life and it provides light. Yet, we need the rain as much as we need the sun. Both are essential to growth and development.

In life we need sunshine days where everything appears rosy and happy, but we also need rain, inspite of it sogging our shoes and depressing our days! The sun and rain work together, in a beautiful balance that man could never orchestrate....but can definitely contaminate. We wouldn't appreciate the good days if we didn't have the soggy rainy days would we? We would get complacent and take life for granted.

So next time it rains, smile and say 'thank you'.

Next time you have a heat wave, think of what the rain would do to change all that....and smile!

SELAH

LUck or yuCK?

Friday the 13th....it may scare you, it may tickle you to scare some body you know. What's with this ominous date? In the first place is it really as bad as people say it is?

Well, to be honest, nothing happened to me on Friday the 13th; I didn't have any major catastrophe, or negative event happen to me.

I think I know why: because I didn't perceive the date as a threat. Every day in actual fact is a threat- we would never know what could hit us, metaphorically and literally. Yet if we live our day with purpose, with dignity, with focus and we apply an optimistic stance, chances are you're day would be rewarding- because you want to see it as such.

However, if we live our day suspiciously, cautiously then we limit the potential of living that day to the fullest. I know what you're thinking....how can we be positive and optimistic with what is so bleak around us?

We can't change the scenario around us, but we can change the scenario inside our mind.

Give it a try, not just on Friday the 13th!

SELAH

PaTTerns

Human beings are funny people....we hate routines, but routines give us a semblance of order. Without these routines, we find it hard to accomplish much in a day, let alone an hour. Yet, when we venture outside this comfort zone, when we change the pattern, we lose a sense of security, a sense of familiarity.

There is nothing wrong with patterns; it's good to have a routine, but we need to ask pertinent questions:

1. Are these patterns enhancing us or deliberating us?


2. Are these patterns in line with what we believe about ourselves or what others say about us?


3. Are these patterns just for show or for real?

It is good to give yourself a check up and find where you stand. A break in the pattern of life may seem disruptive, but it can actually help us unearth a need to reconsider a need to reasses what we take for granted.

So next time life throws you a curve, don't curse or swear, but look at how it can teach you a valuable lesson that opportunities abound to those who seek.

SELAH

the difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is what you make of it

AnDreW- a care letter

Dear Andrew

Sometimes I feel this week has been a haze; one minute you were laughing and joking with me, the next, you are lying in a hospital bed, hooked up to a life support system with tubes running everywhere. How can this be? You are strong, resilient, yet now you lie in the critical care unit of the hospital. We wait with bated breath....will you be alright? All we have is a wing and a prayer....and each other. Yes, each other and God. Yes, God. We don't understand why this happened, but we want to move on to help you endure the rest of your earthly journey. You are precious, you are dear. That's why there is so much support. You are special, so special that God has his angels surrounding you, attending to you, keeping watch over you. You are His workmanship Andrew, don't forget that.... and we aren't going to forget you either. We love you and support you.

You are a dear friend....

Your Friend

SELAH

if you are a friend of Andrew Tham, an ex-student from St. Hilda's Secondary School and are reading this and would like to comment, may i invite you to do so. Your prayers for his recovery would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

10 MiNuTeS tO BiRtH

As I'm writing this, I am counting down......when it strikes 12 mn, it would be my birthday. Birthdays.
Aren't they just numbers that increase annually? Aren't they the no of embarassing candles put on a cake that you need to blow out, but wait! make a wish first!
Numbers.
As the numbers of years increase, so do the lines of stress, the sag of the skin becomes more pronounced, the creak in the bones become louder...but wait! you're maturing!
Maturing.
Isn't that just another polite way to say "You're older"? You may become cynical, skeptical and at the same time forgetful why you do the things you do...but wait! you're still alive!
Alive.
Spirit is willing, but the flesh isn't weak, it's comatose! I'm breathing, I'm walking, I'm feeling, I'm thinking....but wait! it's a miracle!
Miracle.
Yes, life is a miracle....and a miracle is about to be born....

Guess what?

We are all miracles!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MIRACLE! CONTINUE TO BE A GIFT TO THIS WORLD!!

SELAH

eMoTiOnAl

E everyone has emotions
M everyone needs to learn how to manage them
O others need to know how we would respond
T so take time to reflect first
I start with the 'I'
O then move to others in your immediate vicinity
N never negate their feelings
A acknowledge that we need a community perspective
L live a big picture perspective

SELAH

the PRESSURE of doing NOTHING

It's a strange world isn't it? When we have a bundle of things to do, we can't wait to take a moment's respite to just catch our breath and be contemplative for a few minutes. Yet, when we it gets too contemplative and still, we can't take the boredom and itch for something to do. Doing nothing is considered unproductive, a waste of time, a waste of money. Every nanosecond of a minute has to be occupied because of that big word that looms ahead of each of us-USEFULNESS.
Yet, I know of many learned and respected people who took time and spent it in contemplation. They weren't the worse off for it; on the contrary, they lived a longer and more fulfilled life. Maybe we hurry because we don't want to think of the crossroads we would need to face, or the dilemmas we would need to encounter....so hurry and let's bury all that- ESCAPISM
We need to sit down, reflect and regroup. The three Rs of life:

• REST
• REFLECT
• REGROUP
• RECUPERATE

We need to do the first three before we can get to stage four. Don't be in a hurry to get from one to four in a flash. Don't be sucked into the pressure of doing something when nothing is perfectly suitable.

SELAH

S*I*C*K

Bugs....not the creepy crawly ones, but the ones that get into your system and wreck havoc with your insides and your head. How we detest the bugs! There are so many strains of them.... your 'garden variety' , your 'exotic' and your down right 'rare' strains. These days, its challenging for medical personnel to decipher and understand the different strains that keep multiplying and mutating at speeds we can't detect. MBBS isn't enough...MDs don't mean a thing....if we can't get a swing on how to stop them. But can we? We can't stop people from getting sick; isolation doesn't help...eradication doesn't seem to be plausible.

We have to learn to manage it.

Being 'sick' emotionally is similar. We were made to be relational. We can't change our inherent DNA directives. We can learn how to be relational as well as how not to. The 'bugs' of the mind are harder to treat, but the 'bugs' of the heart can be dealt with with tender loving concern....notice i didn't use care in that cliche because care isn't seen as a good word these days. Care is seen as manupilative. Sad isn't it? The value of care is priceless and healing and understanding begins at its doorstep.

Step right up and please, leave your masks at the door!

SELAH

FEncES

I was watching a rerun of an old TV series whilst nursing a bad cough and cold in bed. It was called Picket Fences and it was created by one of my favorite producers, David E Kelley. What I like about Picket Fences is how the situation in one household becomes the fodder of conversation in the community, and how that in turn affects the situation in that same household. Well, there have been many spin offs of such 'dramedies' most prominently of course being Desperate Housewives.
Fences are erected to keep villians away, to keep the flock together. Fences should be respected and not tested. Yet, what happens on the Hollywood set of the shows mirrors what happens in our lives as well. We love to test the boundaries set, be it a young child with his parents, a school student with their teacher, the citizen with the state...it's interesting to see to see it being enacted. Why? Because, it is something inherent within human nature to want to see if we can get more than what we bargained for. We don't like to be boxed in by rules, by dictums by regulations. We love freedom and we expect it. Yet freedom has got its own fences,hasn't it? Remove that, and we have pandemonium, chaos. Would that be what we would want to see?
God forbid!

SELAH